Revert Reflections – International Women’s Day 2021

Assalaam’alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu.

This is my first blog post, so please let me introduce myself; I’m Haniya.

I have been Muslim for about 12 years alhamdulilah. I come from a Sikh background. Everyday reality – I am a mother, wife and friend. In my dreams – I am still a daughter, sister, niece, cousin and grandchild.

Alhamdulilah many reverts are strong in their faith. They have fixed their roots, found, and adapted to their new Muslim identity, formed families and may even have their own non-Muslim family supporting them. 

My blogs are for reverts who may be struggling. My aim, by seeking Allah’s (swt) help, is to help every revert reading this, to be strong in faith and character. Forgive me if I fall short!

Today is International Women’s Day. I thought of a million topics I could write about, Women in Islam, Women’s Rights in Islam, Role Models and many more. But I paused in my tracks and took a turn. How do I reach out to revert women all over the world, in a way that they won’t already know; by a scholar, have access to in a masjid or a YouTube talk? How do I reach into hearts to say, “You are amazing. Allah is enough for you.” [Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal wakeel…find the definition yourself and stick on the most busy place – fridge!]

Well, I concluded my first blog should rightly be about the heart of a woman… our lifeline.

For some reverts we lose our families, face rejection and loneliness in various forms. We may struggle in marriage and have no one to turn to. We might be single mums with a head that just won’t stop hurting and nights that lead too fast into another lonely day. We might yearn every day for our father, for our family and for one last party with our friends! Yes, it is true we yearn for a party! [Just don’t do it please, I will explain in another blog]

This can leave our hearts so fragile, so vulnerable and in honesty, like there is a gaping hole – an empty space where once lay so much love.

I ask you to trust me now. 

That heart had to break for light to shine through it. That light is your faith. Fill it with Allah (swt). If you don’t fill your heart with Allah, it will be filled with other wants, for example you will persistently seek other people’s love, validation and acceptance. Never finding it though, because humans are not perfect, one day someone will let you down and you will be in pieces again. Is this the ‘Independent Woman’ you dreamt to be?

Your true strength and independence is from the One who created you, the One who truly wants best for you, the One who will forgive you repeatedly (yes repeatedly), no matter how big your sin, who will love you unconditionally. Turn to Him. Trust me. 

There is no one who will ease that loss better than Allah. Know that it is also Allah that will send you the right people, to make you smile and enjoy life.

How? I hear you asking… “How do I get close to Allah?” “It won’t happen, I can’t do it”. 

Keep calm. Deep breath, it’s all good. It is a training process –

Firstly, that negativity, recognise that is the voice of Shaytaan, not you. Accept this exists. Seek refuge in Allah.

Secondly, positive affirmations “I believe in Allah and His prophets. I am a firm Muslim.”

Third, keep learning about Allah, who He is, His existence, His mercy, His names (a good place to start).

Fourth, Islam encourages your strength! Islam encourages you to be super woman! There’s a sister out there in her pyjamas crying on the floor because her life is rubbish right now, screaming, “I am not strong, I am useless, I am a rubbish Muslim!” – Oh, wait that was me a few years ago. My point being – it is just a phase, you will recover, life will get better. Trust me, I wear the t-shirt.

Fifth, visualise the woman you want to be, have a goal.

Let’s do this together. One step at a time. We can do this. Have more of the ‘Survivor’ attitude, well more than survive, love life for all its ups and downs. Be sure, that after hardship comes ease. With hardship comes ease, if you go into prostration to Allah, believe me one day you will cry for that sujood – “I miss those days I was so hurt yet so close to Allah.”

My great revert sisters, converts sisters or like I like to be known, ‘Muslim sister’, be hopeful, your heart will be so much more content with hope and it is from our faith to have great hope [Check out Surah Yusuf. Amazing lessons.] Do not allow anyone to diminish your hopes. You will get what you seek, so if that’s nothing or negativity then that is what you will get…the Law of Attraction I believe. Seek greatness. Seek Allah (swt). Seek a super strong you.

This is a blog, it is meant to be short, so I better stop typing.

Have a fantastic week, be strong. Smile lots.

Wasalaam